Prayer is...

Prayer is not about asking for things. Neither is it about saving the world. It is about learning the song of the Father's heart, and singing it back to Him.

Bread and Wine.

I take Holy Communion seriously...really, I do...but sometimes, things happen, and I get all giggly at the altar...

Take for example, the time I was kneeling down at the communion rail, right where the latch to let the pastor in and out was...The latch unhooked itself...and I nearly fell prostrate at Pastor's feet.

Or the time I had hiccups. Hic...hic...HIC...

Or the time I got sandwiched in between two people so I could hardly breathe, much less move.

Today was no exception. I was at Evensong (Chapel)...and we had holy communion. This time, they decided to do things differently: we were to line up and serve the person behind us the bread and the juice. So we'd receive the sacraments from the person in front, and then turn around and give the person behind us the bread saying, "this is the body of the Lord broken for you..." and then the cup saying, "this is the blood of the Lord poured out for you..."

Simple? Yeah. That was until the person in front of me broke a whooping big hunk of bread for me. I stared at the bread. It was HUGE. What should I do? Eat it in 2 bites? 1 bite? Faint?

At that moment of indecision, I stuffed the whole thing in my mouth. Then I turned around to serve the girl behind me...and I was like, *big eyes* DIE. I can't talk.

And then it happened, I started giggling. And choking. It probably lasted 3 seconds, but I thought I was going to go into a spasm. Thank God that girl was nice, she whispered, "it's OK", took the bread and juice from me and motioned for me to go.

I fled.

2 minutes later, I managed to swallow the bread and calm myself down into a meditative mode. But seriously...

Boootifull!!

This has been the "unholiest" Holy Week in my life. For the past 18 years of my life, Holy Week meant church every night for a week (or at least 4 days of services). But I guess things are different here. So when I saw that the university was going to have a Good Friday service at noon, I made sure that I'd be going for that.

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And I did. But when I got to the chapel, there was no one there.

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Whaaat?!

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So I went back to my dorm and did my own little service. I was the pastor, worship leader, liturgist and congregation, all rolled into one. *grins*

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So, my thoughts on Good Friday...

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Let me start with my professor called JS. He is my Intro to Biblical Literature professor...and he's the american version of Dr. Leong (if you know him), only crazier. Like Dr. Leong, he is BIG on social justice, carries way too much information in his head, and just plain looks like a genius. But unlike Dr. Leong, he climbs on tables, teaches till he's red in the face and makes funny/weird noises to get his point across. He also makes me go cuckoo by giving us crazy-hard papers to write. But that's besides the point.

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So the other day, we were going through Matthew 26...about the woman who anointed Jesus' feet with expensive perfume. We came to the part where Jesus rebuked Judas saying, "Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me..." And as he read that verse, he broke down in tears.

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Tip: When your professor starts crying, it is time for you to wake up and pay attention. I'm just sayin'...

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He explained to us that that verse was the basis of Mother Theresa's ministry - to "Do something beautiful for God". It was no wonder that he got all emotional, seeing that he is really into social justice and all.

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Anyways, today being Good Friday and all, I took a listen to Planet Shaker's "Jesus, Beautiful Savior". Credit goes to Hannah for introducing this song to me. Anyways, here goes:
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It struck me that Jesus did the most beautiful thing for us - he chose death so that I might have life. And in return, I want to do something beautiful for God. I don't know about you, but that kinda freaks me out. Coz Jesus' version of beautiful was kinda ugly, and Mother Theresa's version of beautiful was kinda dirty.

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But I find courage in knowing that Jesus said,"...she has done a beautiful thing for me..."

Time to gather me thoughts...

*grabs randomly above my head*

After a week of short and frivolous posts...I guess its time to harness all the thoughts that have been running through my head and stick 'em on this blog. Yes, I do have thoughts running through my head. I'm not the numbskull I sometimes make myself out to be.

But be (very) warned. This is a long and potentially (very) boring post. Are you (very) warned? (very) Good.

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Hokey doke...lets start with classes.

Within my first week of classes...I had to write two papers. And knowing me and my brain freezes...they took eons to write. And here is a facebook-account of one of my Intro to Biblical Literature essay.

Basically I had a 12 hour brain freeze over my thesis statement...and each subsequent point took +/- an hour to write...and it ended off with another few hours staring at my concluding paragraphs.

Anyways, that essay was one paper I wanted to research/write properly. I mean, I don't want to meet God one day and He goes, "What was this craB u wrote about ME?" The other paper was on Science and Religion. So that was another paper I couldn't bring myself to "Just cow-poop about." *excuse me, this is a children friendly blog*

But all those hours of writing about where I stand as a Christian and what I believe about the Bible has really made me think think think (I quote Michael William's daughter). =)

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And I'm really glad that my proffessor isn't biased one way or another. He gives us the academic world's view and his own personal Christian views. And so I am able to see clearly what (I decide) is the truth.

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Then there is work.

It has been a very different semester for me since I started working 17 hours every week. My day starts at 9am and I go on like an energizer bunny till 5pm or 7pm, depending on the day. Then I either do homework and then sleep...or sleep and then do homework.

Yeah, work has taken a large chunk out from my time. But the phrase "You are a student first, only then, a CF committee member" (the phrase that David kor kor drilled into me, and me into my committee's heads - back when I was in WMS) has stuck with me. Only now it is, "You are a student first, then an employee." It has been interesting week of time management, but I'm getting into the swing of it.

That been said, the other day, when I was doing my quiet time...this thought struck me: "I work for God, not for my boss, or my bosses' boss, or my bosses' bosses' boss." And then I remembered Ms Moey's story from one of those Friday evening BK classes:

There was this monk at a monastery whose job was to open the gate whenever the bell rang. Everyday for 50 over years, all he did was to wait for the bell to ring and open the gate. And every time he opened those gates, he would greet the visitor with a huge smile and a warm welcome. One day, a visitor asked him how it was that he managed to do the same thing everyday without getting sick of his job. The monk smiled and replied, "Every time I hear that bell ring, I imagine that it is Jesus I am opening that gate for."

It's funny how those life lessons you learn back in secondary school come back to you.


Wow, it has been an obscenely long post. But there is one more thing about my week...oats.

Oats is cheap and filling. Oats is a good college kid's food. This semester, I bought myself a tin of oats to eat...and I've been making it almost everyday - so I have to blog about it. Anyways, oats isn't as yuck as most people make it out to be. In fact, when you dump cinnamon and raisins in it...or bananas...or coffee...(hey, I'm serious!)...or that left over packet of cocoa mix from last semester...it turns out pretty yummy. Try it!

Which reminds me, I need to stock up on food. *runs to the grocery store*

Dear those...

Dear those who are going to sit for A-lvls this week,

I hope you aren't reading this...coz it would mean that you are not studying and visiting my blog. But if you are reading my blog...I want to say "jia yo!" Don't stress too much, you'll will do fine. But if you are stressed, here's a one sided conversation I had with God which might encourage you...=)

"God, I really want XXX for SPM. But I know I can't do it. What I want and what I deserve doesn't match up...but you know what God? What is enough for You is enough for me. And if what is enough for You is not the results I want, that is OK with me...more than OK actually. Thank you God. Amen."

And I left it at that. Inside, I was cringing because I was scared that "what was enough" for God was going to be waaay less than what I wanted. But in the end, the results belong to God, not to me and not to you. So people, God bless you in your exams...and have fun!

love,
An A-lvls drop out.

me? us? you? you guys?

Since leaving home, I've been getting my fair share of "Do you miss me?" and "Got think of us or not?" I've also had to choose between saying "I miss you" and "I miss you guys" or "I love you" and "I love you all".

It's so much easier to say "I miss you guys" than to say "I miss you"...and I feel lots more comfortable saying "I love you all" than saying "I love you"...it makes things less personal...I'm not the most expressive person in the world...sue me. *pouts*

I'm still pouting.

Sue me. *pouts again*

That's just me. Cow = Expressionless. Anyways, my point is...in Galatians 2:20, Paul writes, "I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Not 'us', but 'me'. God doesn't love us. God loves me Me ME. And you You YOU too. =)

Guys, go tell another guy friend "I love you". (Don't cheat and go, "Dude, Iloveyou man.") Girls, sit back, enjoy, and watch the show. =P Hard? Yeah, I know. Trust me, I know. But isn't it amazing that someone up there wasn't afraid to say it all? To do it all?

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So Jesus, iloveyou.

Nah...

I LOVE YOU!

IDF Retreat

I just came back from a retreat with the IDFers. It is like a Christian Fellowship for international students...and there w a grand total of 3 of us! There were supposed to be 4 people...yeah, we are a cozy bunch...but there was some mix up...and attendance dropped by 25%. =(

Pictures, people!

President, Alice and The Stoner eating dinner in front of the TV.

Dinner.

Daddy and Mummy cooking for THE KID.

Bollywood?

I believe I can flyyyy!!

I really do.

Somewhere along the way, IDF Retreat became an IDF Committee Retreat and we ended up having a brain storming session. THE KID ended up taking minutes again. It's my lot in life, I tell you. But yeah, it was cool.

Anyways, it's got me thinking again, what the purpose of IDF really is. BLEK. I hate thinking, but it's possessing me. ARGHHHHH...No, not really, but I believe in school/college/university ministries...I've seen lives changed, so...*train of thought rambles on...*

Ooooh! I finally got to watch WALL-e. *squeals over happy movies* =D I missed it before because it came out on 14th August in Malaysia - the day I flew here. *Rawr*

"The magic number is 5" and other short stories.

I visited the Social Security Office 5 times before getting my application done.

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On Wednesday I got my SS Card in the mail...and had to do some paperwork with the admin office. Due to certain 'complications' I ended up visiting the admin office 5 times. FIVE TIMES!

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Anyways, I'm authorized to work now...so that's good news...sort of..*kicks my lazy butt in the butt*

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International Showcase was today...where international students partnered the cafeteria to produce international food for the student body. Malaysia was in charge of dessert...and the Malay ladies made kuih ketayap and some green bean porridge/soup. So since I don't, can't and will not cook, I served. And man it was tiring. *kau-tows to all waiters of the world*

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Yeah, so now I have a huge backache...but on the plus side, I've India's nasi beriyani in my tums. *pats stomach, smiles and belches* Only thing...it wasn't spicy at all (Imagine the ang-mors running to the water dispenser). And the yogurt with chives was made with vanilla yogurt. o.O *taste buds goes wonky*

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I'll post up pictures when I get them.

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Oh, I had a "more than answered" prayer today.

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I was walking to class, after a SUPER TIRING 4 hours at the international showcase...the wind was blowing SO HARD in my face I could barely move forward...and it was taking the oxygen past me so fast I could HARDLY GULP DOWN ENOUGH AIR...and I had to run to the admin office before 5 pm...and CLEAN THE BATHROOM...so I whispered, "Dear God, please let me out of class early today."

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And behold, I looked up, and my classmates walked out of the building. Class was cancelled. *beams*

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Someone up there knows when you need a breather. And sometimes, He gives more than you ask for.

Biblical Algebra

Man...I just finished 2 months of devotions on 1 Corinthians 13...anyways, today the instructions were:
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If God = Jesus,

and God = Love,

Substitute Jesus into Love.
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Well, I did spice it up some. Lets do that again in symbol form, shall we?
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If X = Y,

and X = Z,

Substitute Y into Z.

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Just like addmath huh?...I make Mdm. Sarah Tan proud...Or at least I like to think I do. =P

Here goes...

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1 Corinthians 13
Love
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not Jesus, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not Jesus, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not Jesus, I gain nothing.
4 Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind. He does not envy, he does not boast, he is not proud. 5He is not rude, he is not self-seeking, he is not easily angered, he keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Jesus does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Jesus never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and Jesus. But the greatest of these is Jesus.

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Kinda cool huh? It humbles me to see the standard of unconditional love that God sets for us through His son Jesus. It always makes me realise how far more we have to go before we can even begin to call ourselves sons and daughters of God, only God has already done so.

You are a letter from God...

2 Corinthians 3:3...You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts...

No play play wei...

Thank you...

After all the stories about MCKL's super passion CF Camp...I did a little bit of reflection myself, and I remember again how God has used CF to transform me.

I guess it started out when I was in Form 2...the day one of my classmates was suprised to hear I was a Christian. Man, that hurt. That day, I realized that not being bad wasn't enough. That day, I realized that God wanted me to live my faith out loud. And that was the begining.

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Next thing I knew, Kaylee, Peako-boy and I were conspiring to revive Lower Sec CF...and then it was Upper Sec CF...and CF camp...and then another year of CF...and CF camp...And then MCKL's CF...and the passion that I saw in each and every single one of you. Yes. Every single one of you.

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Four years ago, it started out as "What I can do to serve You Lord?" And ended off as "Who am I to receive all Your blessings?" It has been 4 amazing years of lessons of faith, humility, courage and love. And I'm still taking long distance lessons from all the testimonies that I hear. >.<

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So I guess I want to say thank you to all the people who have been placed in my life. It has been an amazing journey so far...

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Here is to you guys...and to the Almighty One above...

(I MISS WMS CF!!)

(I WAS THERE! HONEST!)

Tomorrow...

I leave tomorrow.
It's 1.30 am in the morning and this is just about the time of the day where I freak out about leaving. =D

It seems like my 38 hour journey is getting longer...OCU can't send their ppl to pick me up from the airport the moment I arrive bcoz it's too late...and the dorms aren't open...so I will be shelter-less for just a tad bit longer...=)
According to my predictions, I will be without a proper bath for just about 48 hours. Oh the horrors.

I've packed...finally. So let me introduce you to Mr.& Mrs. Bag. Ironically, Mrs. Bag is 3 Kg heavier than Mr. Bag.

I remember the morning of the day I got accepted into OCU. The passage was on Hebrews 11. To me, its one of the most challenging passages in the bible. And when I read the part about Abraham leaving his home even though he didn't know where he was going, I told God I'd go to America if He provided a place for me.

And that night, I got an email from OCU telling me that I'd been accepted with enough scholarship. (Talk about instant messaging) My heart dropped to my stomach and boy, my stomach was having a hard time digesting it. So that's why I'm going. And yes, I'm undecided on my major, but I feel that God's saying that I may not know where I'm going, but He does.


So I'm going. Whether or not I like it. =) I admit it, I'm scared. But I'm going. I'm kicking my self out of the nest. WHOOT!

*sings* I'm flying without wingsss...*CRASH* heeee...