Monday, June 7, 2010

Submarine 101

So its over, and killing you won't be necessary anymore.

By the way, if the above statement made absolutely no sense, you better read the bottom half of this post. That is, unless you want to continue to think of me as a retard. Which is fine by me. Think of me whatever you will. I care not.

Sometimes.

But back to my post. This is a recipe for building a submarine console, and here are the ingredients: polystyrene, sugar paper, lantern paper, stickers, Christmas lights, and lots of other salvaged, recycled, borrowed, created and hastily thrown together items. Lets build.

So we start off with the polystyrene - white and flimsy and polystyreny.

Cut a hole or two...or three. And enjoy the bits of polystyrene-snow floating around your living room floor, the dining table, your bedroom floor, the doorway to your house and the space outside your bedroom.

Wrap in sugar paper. Admire the smooth pwetty surface, and be happy. Enjoy while you can, the end is near.

Over the holes with lantern paper, and cringe at the creased material and the ugly edges. Cover the ugly edges with more black strips and cringe at the uneven lines. Ignore the cellophane tape peeking through. Its not worth losing sleep over.

Add the "chunkies". Obsess over everything for a few days. Add more chunkies. Obsess somemore. Mess up the living room floor, the dining table, your bedroom floor, the doorway to your house and the space outside your bedroom.

Make sure to leave your stapler staple side up and staple your foot in the middle of the night.

Look at the final product, and cry. It looked much better when it was just wrapped in sugar paper -all nice and pwetty and smooth. Add more tape to the chunkies that are falling off. Add more tape whether or not they are falling off.

Let others put up an awesome backdrop, fix up the lights and make everything all lo-mantic. Realize it doesn't look all that bad after all.

Yay teamwork!

Lastly, throw the whole dang thing away.

2 comments:

Argentinadog said...

Impressive!! methinks our navy has such 'working' subs too...:-p

ehwo said...

i enjoyed reading this one..leave the staple up lol gosh you are one heck of a descriptive writer! possibly a writer in the making..