They tried to make me go to rehab...

I spent the week in rehab.

I'm on drugs.

I'm sorry.

...

Ok, fine. I'm not on drugs. I spent the week at a stroke rehab center as a volunteer. And thank goodness I have (so far) boundless patience with old people.

Basically I have been walking at a minuscule pace, carrying people in and out of wheelchairs, pulling and pushing limbs, cajoling people to stand/walk and making lots and lots of small talk:

Aunty, do you have children?
How old are they?
Are they married?
Do they have kids?
3 grandchildren! You must be so happy.
How old are they?

Uncle, where do you stay?
How do you come here?
Oh, your son takes you here...
How old is he?
Is he married?
Do they have kids?
2 grandchildren! You must be so happy.
How old are they?

Aunty, last time what did you work as?
As a teacher! Wow you must like kids.
You have a boy and a girl?
How old are they?
Are they married?
Do they have kids?
5 grandchildren! You must be so happy.
How old are they?

But not every conversation ends in that, I promise. Sometimes I say it in different languages.

Aunty, how are you today?
Oh, ni bu jiang eng wen ah?
(Oh, you don't speak english?)
Ni jiang guan dong hua?
(You speak cantonese?)
Wo bu hui jiang guan do hua. Wo se fu chien ren.
(I can't speak cantonese. I'm hokkien)
So aunty, ni yo ji ke hai zhe?
(So aunty, how many children do you have?)

...

I haven't spoken so much chinese, hokkien and BM in my life. Ever.
Ever. Ever.

Or should I say, saya tak pernah cakap begitu banyak dalam bahasa cina, cantonese dan melayu. Tak pernah!

Tak pernah! Tak pernah!