Cold Turkey

This is what happens when you go from 4 cups of coffee a day to none.

You go cold turkey. You crave it. You feel like you can't go on without it. Your head has a bomb threatening to blow up. You resist it...and take a 30 second snooze. Repeat 25 gazillion times.

Submarine 101

So its over, and killing you won't be necessary anymore.

By the way, if the above statement made absolutely no sense, you better read the bottom half of this post. That is, unless you want to continue to think of me as a retard. Which is fine by me. Think of me whatever you will. I care not.

Sometimes.

But back to my post. This is a recipe for building a submarine console, and here are the ingredients: polystyrene, sugar paper, lantern paper, stickers, Christmas lights, and lots of other salvaged, recycled, borrowed, created and hastily thrown together items. Lets build.

So we start off with the polystyrene - white and flimsy and polystyreny.

Cut a hole or two...or three. And enjoy the bits of polystyrene-snow floating around your living room floor, the dining table, your bedroom floor, the doorway to your house and the space outside your bedroom.

Wrap in sugar paper. Admire the smooth pwetty surface, and be happy. Enjoy while you can, the end is near.

Over the holes with lantern paper, and cringe at the creased material and the ugly edges. Cover the ugly edges with more black strips and cringe at the uneven lines. Ignore the cellophane tape peeking through. Its not worth losing sleep over.

Add the "chunkies". Obsess over everything for a few days. Add more chunkies. Obsess somemore. Mess up the living room floor, the dining table, your bedroom floor, the doorway to your house and the space outside your bedroom.

Make sure to leave your stapler staple side up and staple your foot in the middle of the night.

Look at the final product, and cry. It looked much better when it was just wrapped in sugar paper -all nice and pwetty and smooth. Add more tape to the chunkies that are falling off. Add more tape whether or not they are falling off.

Let others put up an awesome backdrop, fix up the lights and make everything all lo-mantic. Realize it doesn't look all that bad after all.

Yay teamwork!

Lastly, throw the whole dang thing away.

Chickometer.

So I guess this blog deserves to be taken out of the dust for an airing. Cobwebs and cows only have four things in common. The 'C', the 'O', the 'W' and the 'S'.

Sorry guys, I know I just made your brains turn into mush.

But back to this posting. As of late, my life has been revolving around 2 things: the chicken, and the speedometer.

So I'm doing this short term stint working as a chicken farmer. No, really. I wake up every morning, feed the chickens, collect eggs, clean the chicken coop and then proceed to play tag with them till evening. Then I feed them dinner and go home.

Or maybe I spend my days sitting at a desk going through stacks of paper.

Whichever story you choose to believe, let me tell you one thing, if all chickens looked like that *points upwards*, I will turn vegetarian in a heartbeat.

I would tell you guys about the speedometer, but then I'd have to kill you. Each. And. Every. One. Of. You.

So I'll leave you with this teaser for now.

A dozen days, crammed into a post.

Since dropping the NOKIA into the poop-throne, things have happened. For one, I am back home, getting fat. But lets not get ahead of myself...yes?

So the last time I blogged it was the last week of April. That was the final week of classes...which wasn't too bad. All the profs were winding down, everything was chill...everyone was ignoring the fact that we should be studying instead of...not studying. Heh.

Then finals doomed upon me. There were several classes in which I was straddling the border between 'A Land' and 'A- Land'. I couldn't bring myself to settle for the A-, so the kiasu-active spider bit me, and I woke up as Kiasuman. And for 3 days, everything but my finals ceased to exist.

And then there was packing. And I'll let you in on a secret:

I

hate

packing.

There, I feel like my inner soul has been cleansed. I'm a little OCD about packing. All the kitchen stuff/ stationary/ clothes has to be packed together, fitted together jigsaw-puzzle style in neatly taped up boxes, and labeled.

And of course, the hardest part of the last few days was saying my goodbyes. Roommates, thank you for bearing with me. I know I take hour-long showers and can get extremely self absorbed when I'm busy, but you guys have never ever complained. =)

And then there was the flight...which wasn't half bad considering I got to catch up on all the movies I have been deprived of. I finally watched Avatar, Slumdog Millionaire and Horton Hears a Who. I know, sad right? I tried watching Twilight, but I got bored out of my mind. Somehow, pale vampire people with blood red lips don't exactly turn me on.

So I managed to reach KLIA without too much trouble, and jumped on the train to KL Central, found mom and dad, who immediately took me to stuff my face. Since then, I've been eating non-stop, probably twice what I usually eat...so yes, to all the uncles and aunties who have expressed their disappointment at my apparent lost of weight, fear not, I bet I'll fatten right up in a couple of days.

Long live the Nokia.

I own a Nokia. To be specific, I own a brick of a NOKIA spelled with capitals instead of a sleek and pretty nokia spelled with italics. Its the only type of phone I should be allowed to have, because of its apparent resistance to abuse.

No, I'm not talking about the occasional 3 foot drop from the table to the floor. I'm not even referring to the time I was jogging down the road and the NOKIA leaped out of my pocketsess onto the gravel road and broke into like 352 pieces. Of course I picked up every one of those 491 pieces and put it back together, and voila! It worked.

I am referring to today when I visited the Ladies. After I did my business, I flushed and turned around. At that moment the NOKIA leaped out of my pocketsess (again!!) into the water.

*The next part is censored*

So I ran to the sink to wash my hands and the phone. And pulled everything apart, resisting the urge to turn it on, I went back to the office, pulled out a floor fan and directed it at my phone, leaving it there for a good 4 hours.

And let me tell you what, when we put it back together and turned it on, the NOKIA lived. Not only that, my SMS service which had previously been dead was miraculously resurrected. I tell you, toilet water is the new wonder drug.

Long live the NOKIA.

Fail

I finally feel like I've got school under control. My attempt at not being a nerd this semester...failed.

'ell week 2

My boss proclaimed last week to be 'ell week. Seems like every single organization under the sun is trying to push in "one last event" before the academic year goes out. And the boss and his little minions get to set up for every single one of these events.

Being a minion sounds cute. But that's the extent of anything positive that has to go with that. That is besides being paid. Pay is good too.

So yeah, that was last week. This week was 'ell x2. Because on top of work, lecturers are beginning to realize that there are only 2 weeks left of the semester to give homework, quizzes, tests, papers and presentations.

And so, coffee has become part of my life again.