Poor Bald Cow

On May 11th, 2009, I wandered around KL Central with a HUGE 29" bag, phoneless, trying to find my mama and papa, had my first paper tosai in 9 months, bathed in my own (sweet!) bathroom, peeled taugeh, and ate homemade popiah. I also got my hair cut.

Fast forward 3 months and I found myself back in Mid Valley - in the butcher's chair - getting my hair cut. AGAIN. Apparently, there are no hair-butchers in America. Apparently I have to fly 10,000 miles to chop off the black stuff that sprout-eth from my head. Apparently I digress.

So the unruly mop got mowed today. Do I like it? No. Remind me never to shave my mane so short again. But more than that, this is a reminder that my holiday is over. Time to go back. I'll be more than fine once I get there. But for now, why can't my rich old man come and marry me so I don't have to go back to school?

*goofy grin*

Bovine Flu

Just in case someone forgot what bovine means:


It sounds so much better than 'cow flu', or 'cattle flu', or 'ox flu' doesn't it? 'Buffalo flu', on the other hand, shows some promise, but 'bovine flu' beats all for that smooth, intellectual feel.

Whatever, I'm talking crap. But let me clarify something, (before people start getting the wrong idea). Bovine flu doesn't exist. I just made that up because I fell sick. And let me clarify something else. I don't have swine flu. I'm just a sick cow.

It started sometime during bbq night last friday, and didn't get all that bad until saturday afternoon: after I cooked scrambled eggs for breakfast, deposited aunty jo with uncle cal, and taught a last minute guitar class. After 20 minutes, the real, legit teacher came and I scooted back to my bed and slept for 6 hours like a dead man.

I figure I caught the bug from one of the strokee patients. Must have been during one of the "how many grandchildren do you have?" conversations.

Anyways, this sick cow is feeling much better now. She's still coughing so that her little brain jiggles in its skull-case, giving her some massive headaches. But on the whole, everything is A-OK.

I think my body is realizing that this is the last time I'm letting it fall sick in a long long time. Getting ill in America is SO NOT an option!

1/100th of a century later...

I've been blogging for a year now. When I started, I was convinced "siewcowpau.blogspot.com" would surely die a lonely and horrible death. Well it didn't. Hasn't.

People say my blog is funny, or entertaining or whatever. And in a sense, that is true. I don't blog about dark, moody & depressing stuff. If you want that, go visit the bladdah's blog. It will surely make you depressed. But it is good for your soul. In a depressing way.

Anyways, my point is this. All you see on this blog isn't everything. I can't bring myself to bare my poor naked soul to the world wide web. It's too...naked. *squirms* Its not like I'm trying to hide stuff. I just rather find the light side of a dark situation. Take Mr. Creep for example. Short, round and bald Mr. Creep was SO NOT FUNNY. But after 2 weeks of getting creeped out, I began to find things to laugh at. If you look hard enough, you'll always find something to laugh at. Sue me, I like laughing. I like making people laugh.

So here's to 1/100th of a century of blogging about my life. Or part of it, at least.

I will arise and go now to innisfree...

I really should stop these CHEESY titles...I mean, William Butler Yeat's poems from Form 1 lit class?? Man, I'm cheesy. And nerdy. =)

Anyways, the family went up Frasers for some good ole' fashion family bonding time san the puduraya ambience and KL air:

Scrabble. Told you I was nerdy.

Tai Di.

And walk. Walk. Walk. 12 km of up and down hill in total. Not bad.

Tan Siew Pau

Std 1 Girl: (for the 3rd week in a row) Teacher...tell me...are you siewpau?
Me: Who says I'm siewpau? Just now siewpau wore dungarees, I'm wearing jeans.
Std 1 Girl: Noo...each time I see you, you always wear the same shirt, shoes and glasses as siewpau.
Me: Really?
Std 1 Girl: Yes, reaaaally!!
Me: Oh...that was my twin.
Std 1 Girl: What?
Me: You didn't know ah? I have a twin sister named Tan Siew Pau. And you know right, twins always wear the same clothes.
Std 1 Girl: Bluffing me!
Me: You don't believe me?
Std 1 Girl: No.
Me: Go ask the teacher over there.

The Teacher Over There: Yes?
Std 1 Girl: Does siewpau have a twin?
The Teacher Over There: Of course! And you know who their father is?
Std 1 Girl: Who?
The Teacher Over There: Pastor!
Std 1 Girl: (confused) Reaaaally?

Std 1 Girl: Teacher Caryn, tell me lah...
Me: Tell you what?
Std 1 Girl: Do you really have a twin?

Lol...kids nowadays...

And yes, we eventually did her the truth.

Fungus vs God

Me: What is more powerful than God, more evil than the devil, the .... poor have it, the rich need it and if you eat it, you die?
Kid: Fungus.
Me: Fungus is more powerful than God?
Kid: Fungi?

Lol...kids nowadays...

They tried to make me go to rehab...

I spent the week in rehab.

I'm on drugs.

I'm sorry.

...

Ok, fine. I'm not on drugs. I spent the week at a stroke rehab center as a volunteer. And thank goodness I have (so far) boundless patience with old people.

Basically I have been walking at a minuscule pace, carrying people in and out of wheelchairs, pulling and pushing limbs, cajoling people to stand/walk and making lots and lots of small talk:

Aunty, do you have children?
How old are they?
Are they married?
Do they have kids?
3 grandchildren! You must be so happy.
How old are they?

Uncle, where do you stay?
How do you come here?
Oh, your son takes you here...
How old is he?
Is he married?
Do they have kids?
2 grandchildren! You must be so happy.
How old are they?

Aunty, last time what did you work as?
As a teacher! Wow you must like kids.
You have a boy and a girl?
How old are they?
Are they married?
Do they have kids?
5 grandchildren! You must be so happy.
How old are they?

But not every conversation ends in that, I promise. Sometimes I say it in different languages.

Aunty, how are you today?
Oh, ni bu jiang eng wen ah?
(Oh, you don't speak english?)
Ni jiang guan dong hua?
(You speak cantonese?)
Wo bu hui jiang guan do hua. Wo se fu chien ren.
(I can't speak cantonese. I'm hokkien)
So aunty, ni yo ji ke hai zhe?
(So aunty, how many children do you have?)

...

I haven't spoken so much chinese, hokkien and BM in my life. Ever.
Ever. Ever.

Or should I say, saya tak pernah cakap begitu banyak dalam bahasa cina, cantonese dan melayu. Tak pernah!

Tak pernah! Tak pernah!